The YA Genre, Its Not Just for Young Adults

Jennifer Connelly as Josie McClellan in Career Opportunities

Jennifer Connelly as Josie McClellan in Career Opportunities

Yesterday I went to see the movie Southpaw, after that movie was over I saw that Mission Impossible was starting in about 30 minutes and decided that I wanted to see the opening scene with Tom Cruise hanging off the jet in IMAX and then I would go home.

I had already seen the movie and thought it was OK. Basically if you love any of the Mission Impossible movies, you will probably love this one. I am not a fan of the franchise but I have seen them all and despite finding them silly there is always at least one very entertaining moment, usually Tom Cruise doing some crazy stunt and, well, there is always at least one sexy woman in the movies. I am a straight guy, I love me a sexy woman.

So, I had some time to burn so I went and saw the end of the movie Paper Towns. Another movie I had already seen but I welcomed the chance to look at the pretty young women in this movie again.

I must admit, I have a soft spot for what is now called the YA, young adult, genre and I grew up on the great 80’s teen comedies, yes, John Hughes (RIP) was a teen comedy god. Sure, part of it is that I will soon be eligible for my DOM, dirty old man, membership, and I like looking at beautiful young women but the more important reason is that I live vicariously through these movies as I did not experience any of what you see in these movies.

While other kids were partying, dating, losing their virginity, making friends that last forever, or at least friends you never forget, going to proms, experiencing graduation and just being a young adult during middle and high school, I was having to be an adult.

Basically I went straight from 10 years old to manhood and missed all that fun stuff. Sure, I went to school but my off hours, when not studying, was dealing with serious issues such as family members in hospitals and nursing homes, deaths and funerals, basically lots and lots of emotional devastation. I survived.

I now and have always loved watching movies about teens and young adults, Pretty in Pink, Superbad, Ghost World, Risky Business, The Spectacular Now, Pump Up the Volume, Napoleon Dynamite, Meatballs, River’s Edge, The Virgin Suicides, Welcome to the Dollhouse, Heathers, Clueless, My Bodyguard, 10 Things I Hate About You, Juno, Rebel Without a Cause, American Graffiti, Boyz n the Hood, Election, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Lucas, Peggy Sue Got Married, Rock ‘n’ Roll High School, Dead Poets Society, American Pie, Hoosiers, Back to the Future, Bring It On, Kids, Brick, Fame, Can’t Hardly Wait, Sixteen Candles, Porky’s, Lean on Me, Stand and Deliver, The Outsiders, Weird Science, Never Been Kissed, Dope, The Lost Boys, Footloose, Class, The Last American Virgin, All the Right Moves, Valley Girl, Better Off Dead, Girls Just Want to Have Fun, Tomboy, School Ties, Angus, The Craft, Cruel Intentions, Splendor in the Grass, Grease, Carrie, Donnie Darko and many more I now forget, I watch them all and they all break my heart in some fashion.

My favorite is Say Anything…with Almost Famous a close second, and yes, both were written and directed by Cameron Crowe who will always be my bromance soul mate I probably never meet.

The character I most wanted to be, Ferris Bueller as played by Matthew Broderick, of course, but the character I most connect with is Lloyd Dobler as played by John Cusack in Say Anything… and, of course, I grew up to be Mike Damone as played by Robert Romanus in Fast Times at Ridgemont High. “Scalper? You call me a scalper? I perform a service, my friends. The service costs money. Now do you want the tickets or not?”

How about the girls? Jennifer Connelly as Josie McClellan in Career Opportunities is probably the sexiest character while I will give Cybill Shepherd as Jacy Farrow in The Last Picture Show second place.

As for the more romantic crushes, there are so many, Molly Ringwald as Samantha Baker in Sixteen Candles, Emma Watson as Sam in The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Heather Graham as Mercedes Lane, great name, in License to Drive, Meredith Salenger as Lainie Diamond in Dream a Little Dream, Joyce Hyser as Terry Griffith in Just One of the Guys, Amanda Peterson (RIP) as Cindy Mancini in Can’t Buy Me Love, Elisabeth Shue as Chris in Adventures in Babysitting, Kate Hudson as Penny Lane in Almost Famous and though I really want to say Ally Sheedy as Allison Reynolds in The Breakfast Club is my favorite, I really do love the weird loner girls, I have to go with an upset choice, Mary Stuart Masterson as Watts in Some Kind of Wonderful. I also love the sensitive sexy little tomboys, they always break my heart.

So what about the ladies in Paper Towns? Yes, Cara Delevingne as Margo is a sexy girl and a former Victoria’s Secret model but the young lady that stole my heart in this movie was Halston Sage as Lacey. You have to love the popular girl who turns out to be so sweet and has more depth than you would have ever expected.

What more can I say? Well, I guess a Matthew McConaughey as David Wooderson quote from Dazed and Confused sums it all up very nicely, “That’s what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.”

Advertisements

Sometimes a Mozzarella Stick is More Than Just a Piece of Fried Cheese

Fried Cheese Sticks !!

Fried Cheese Sticks !!

I love going to the movies and I do it often. I treat going to my local Regal Theatre with 800 screens, no, 18 actually, like someone going to Six Flags. I basically buy a ticket and I leave when I am tired of watching movies.

I will go see a movie I have not seen and then go see a second movie and then even a third movie sometimes, or just go see a movie again that I liked and want to see again. Sometimes I go watch a movie just to see one scene I really liked or just to look at a pretty actress again for a few minutes and leave. Bye, bye, time for me to go home now, maybe I will see you again pretty girl that will never know I exist, I love you.

Today was one of my movie adventure days and I have several stories to tell so this is the first of possibly a few blog posts. Basically I am really in the mood to write.

The movie I went to see today was Southpaw starring Jake Gyllenhaal, and yes, I had to Google his name, can anyone other than a Gyllenhaal actually spell Gyllenhaal without help?

The movie was good, the movie could have been great but the screenplay let us down, regardless, the purpose of this post is not to review Southpaw.

By the way, Jake was robbed last year in not getting an Oscar nom for his performance in Nightcrawler and if you have not seen that film, stop reading this and watch it now, Jake is amazing. This is not as great a performance but hopefully the Academy makes it up to him this year as he is still really really damn good in this film.

OK, back to my story. The film was in one of the smaller theatres so I grabbed my preferred seating location, center back row where I can masturbate in privacy.

No, no, no, that was a joke, I have never masturbated in a theatre though it is on my bucket list and I will do it eventually. I also do not imagine it will be a Jake Gyllenhaal film, I prefer to masturbate to Matthew McConaughey films.

Again a joke, I am straight regardless of what you may have heard from my past girlfriends.

During the trailers a woman sat two seats down from me, the theatre was pretty empty so I consider that a bum rush but, as I mentioned, she was a woman so I was able to deal with it.

After a few minutes she said something to me and, at first, I did not realize she was talking to me. Again, excuse me, and I responded to her this time. She had something in her hand reaching it out to me, would you like these she said, they appeared to be cheese sticks. I asked her, do you not like them? She said, no, they are good, just too much. So, OK, sure, I took them, thanking her.

I know, who takes leftovers from strangers in a theatre?

I will admit it was my first time but since I have a long history of being drunk and asking people if they are going to finish “that” in restaurants and since I was hungry, today was a no eating day, and since I also have a hard and fast rule that I do not turn down free alcohol, free food or free vagina, my instinct was to take what she was giving.

As I finished my first stick of fried cheese, which came with a mini bucket of marinara dipping sauce, I suddenly thought, damn, I wonder if she doubled dipped in this already opened and already used mini bucket of marinara dipping sauce?

Then I thought, well, I do kiss strange women, I even welcome the chance to eat their pussy. Lets be honest, if this woman said, hey, would you like to take me home and eat my pussy and being that it has been such a long, long time since I have heard a woman ask that, I am probably saying yes.

So, bottom line, should I really be worried that she may have double dipped a cheese stick? I started in on the second stick of cheese.

By the way, if you did not catch this already, I have never ever heard a woman say, hey, would you like to take me home and eat my pussy but its a nice thought that it might have happened and if you thought it had actually happened. Thank you.

So, I am enjoying my cheese, but suddenly I think, fuck, she thinks I am some hungry homeless man that snuck in to the theatre to get some sleep. I only shave like once a week and since my beard now grows out white, add a ragged baseball hat and, well, I do look like a homeless guy.

Damn, I just went from eating her pussy to being a charity case. Screw it, I am hungry and this cheese is really hitting the spot, my ego will just have to get over it.

As I start in on the third stick, I have yet another thought. I watch way too much CNN which is basically, Trump, white people doing bad things to black people, missing plane, white people doing bad things to black people, Muslims shooting Americans, white people doing bad things to black people, you get the idea, so I suddenly think, is this some kind of bizarre undercover news story?

She is a black woman, we are in the south and I am white guy. Maybe they were thinking, after the white homeless guy refuses the black woman’s leftover cheese sticks, we have some kind of proof of universal racism and I just screwed it up.

Damn it Anderson, he is eating the cheese even though her black spit may be in the mini bucket of marinara sauce, quit filming, we will have to find another white guy in the theatre and blow our entire budget on some more Regal Theatre cheese sticks.

I quickly dismiss this theory. I may have a paranoid imagination but I am not yet quite that crazy that I actually really think that I am the subject of an undercover fried cheese racism sting.

So I finish my free snack accepting that she was just being nice….she simply made sure the old homeless white guy had something to eat today. Good for her, nice lady.

Wow, Shania Twain Sucked

Shania Twain

Yesterday I had Shania Twain tickets for Philips Arena here in Atlanta. When I bought the tickets months ago I thought, this being her so-called farewell tour, that it would be a giant ticket. Boy was I wrong.

The show never sold-out and I had to go on the street with my last 6 tickets that I paid TicketMaster just under $158 a ticket. It was not pretty, I lost hundreds of dollars on this show, it happens, but I did have one fun moment.

It was a 7.30pm show and I decided I would leave as soon as I had sold all my tickets or at 9.30pm if they did not all sell. At about 9.10pm, I had three tickets left and up comes three guys looking for tickets. Unfortunately they were only there to meet girls and only wanted to spend $20 per ticket. 

One guy ended up getting a free ticket from three girls coming up that had an extra ticket. It was a woman with her daughter and a friend of the daughter. Mom was probably 55 and the other two were probably in their early 30’s. It was funny watching the guy convince them to give him the ticket as the women were definitely more interested in the guys than the guys were in them. I especially enjoyed watching the one girl put on a show of shaking out her hair and putting her hairband back on, leaning over and showing off her lovely cleavage, horny women are always fun.

I was not going to take $20 per ticket as you simply never know when you may get lucky with a late big spender. It happens, some of my all-time best deals have been really really late ones especially after the box office has closed. Deals such as I just paid someone $5 per ticket for their seemingly worthless tickets and then Mr Late Drunk Big Spender gives me $250 per ticket as I am the only option. In this case, I was the only option for tickets as the box office had just closed and all the other scalpers had left.

At 9.30pm I walked off telling the guys to have a good night. At this point my only hope was that I randomly got lucky walking home or that the guys would play my bluff and spend some more money. I did not get lucky with anyone showing up late as I headed home but two of the guys chased me down, I was literally about half the way home, a ten minute walk, when they came running up, yelling for me to hold up.

At this time I knew I was going to take their money, it was just a matter of how much I would get from them. They were actually nice charming guys that had graduated from the University of Kentucky and not the usual jerks looking for a deal. Sure, they did the, but what else are you going to do with them dance, but they were not assholes about it. Usually people for some unknown reason will also insult you as they try and buy your tickets for next to nothing but these guys were cool and kept pointing out that they totally understood me trying to get my money back.

After chatting about UK and UNC basketball for a bit, I finally made my move, OK guys, my bottom line and only because you have been nice about all of this, is $50 a ticket. They tried to stick to their guns but one guy finally cracked and offered $30 per ticket. His friend lost it on him but finally said fine, $30 per ticket. I said no and started to walk away, I then stopped, turned around, and said, fuck it guys lets split the difference, $40 per ticket and only because I have enjoyed our conversation, take it or leave it.

It was pretty funny, the one guy was, no way, no way, we have missed half the show and we are only going in to meet girls and we promised each other we would only spend $20 per ticket but the other guy said, fine, and reached for his wallet. After a minute or two of the one guy saying no way, no way, and telling his friend he was crazy, he finally pulled out the money.

After paying me this same guy just started laughing, shaking his head and excitedly telling me, you would have taken the $60, you did not care about the money, you you would have taken the $60, you just wanted to win, I get this, you just wanted to win.

Yes, at that point, it was simply all about the hustle, having fun, winning a tiny little battle over the price of a couple of tickets. I gave them all three tickets in case they wanted to sit with their buddy and then went home. Sure, I won, I got $80 instead of $60 or $40 but it was not much of a win, I lost almost $400 on those three tickets. Such is the life of a ticket scalper.